Friday 3 October 2014

Reality check

With me being induced today I'm having a bit of a last minute reality check, I have so many emotions running around my head right now, which I'm sure is perfectly normal...

Frightened...
I'm scared not just of being induced and the pain that goes with it, but of how we'll cope being parents.  We have great support in place, with hubby's parents around the corner who've been amazing during the pregnancy and we have a great network of friends too.  But it's the hour to hour I can't stop thinking about... I love my blogs and want to keep them going, but I'm scared I just won't have the energy for it anymore.  I know, thousands of new parents manage it, so I'm sure I'll find a way.

Money worries...
While we've been very realistic about our money situation - all luxuries are going (Sky TV, hubby commuting the car to work, makeup etc) I still worry for how we'll cope - there's a £700 deficit we need to find and it's not going to be easy.  Then there's childcare... I earn not much more than childcare costs, so if we need to go down that route, I'll be working full time just to pay for childcare with no spare income left at the end - personally, I'd rather give up work and raise Squidge myself. I'm sure most new parents have these same worries, but it's something that's been on my mind since we found out I was pregnant... just how will we cope?

I'm only prepared in a material sense...
Every parent will tell you that nothing will prepare you for being a parent, and I'm a realist in totally knowing that.  We have all the 'stuff' - the cot, changing table, clothes, moses basket etc etc, I guess I'm feeling overwhelmed about how it's not something I can prepare for.  I'm a bit of a girl scout and I like to be prepared - I'm so happy that the house is pretty much ready for the baby, that the rooms are finished and we're good to go (apart from a bit of clutter downstairs), I just stress about the things I cannot control, and preparing for a baby is impossible to prepare for, despite how much I read up on what to expect.

Excited...
Don't worry, it's not all bad :)  I'm so excited to finally meet him so we can start being a family and find our way.  I'm looking forward to his first walk around the local park in his pram, to going to the local lake to feed the ducks, his first firework display, the first time he sits on Daddy's shoulders, his first giggle and seeing all the firsts he's going to have.  I can't wait to see his little face and his chubby cheeks and dressing him in the clothes I've been lovingly picking out for him over the last few months.  This might sound strange, but I'm looking forward to the night feeds too - to bonding time with just me and him, in the nursery with the radio on and the lamp.  I'm looking forward to seeing his Daddy cuddle him for the first time (I just know my heart will melt) and him fall asleep on Daddy's chest.  I have no doubt, that all these wonderful little moments, will far outweigh any of my fears and worries.

What were your biggest fears just before you had your baby?



Georgina <3

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